I really shouldn't title these "Day..." because it hasn't been seven days since my first blog, but I couldn't think of anything else at the time so "Day..." it is until I can come up with something better or someone out there can suggest something for me.
I have been taking a look at my niece's blogs with wonderful pictures of their kids and the fun things they do. How I love these families and being a part of their lives! They have grown into amazing women who do remarkable things! It is an honor for me to know them and be allowed into their lives.
Yesterday I was at the mall making necessary purchases, and stopped into the shoe store(s), which is almost never a necessary purchase for me because I'm always buying shoes. I love shoes; I wish I had more than one pair of feet so I could wear more than one pair of shoes at a time! It has gotten to the point where I have to promise myself to give away two pair of shoes for every new pair I buy! This doesn't always work out the way it should. I can always think of a reason why I need to keep this pair or that pair, even if they hurt my feet!
A few years ago, I broke my foot and was in a boot for nearly six months! This was pretty devastating for me since I don't believe in wearing the same pair of shoes two days in a row. A week or two before the break, I had purchased three pairs of lovely shoes and wore them no more than once prior to the break. I had to wait a long time before I could wear those lovely shoes and then when the boot finally came off, I still couldn't wear those beauties because my foot was swollen enough that I couldn't shove it in the shoes! However, I did get to go my new ones!
I talk about having several pair of black shoes and get blank stares from men and not a few women who are not shoe lovers like I am. I try to explain that one pair of black shoes is not enough. And even though these two pair of shoes may appear to be similar they are not. One pair is open toes sling backs, while the other is a closed toe sling back. Each shoe brings its own unique look to an outfit and where one may be totally appropriate, the other could ruin it! I find very few caring ears when discussing the many variables in black shoes.
I can wear my old shoes now, but because I was discouraged by how long it was taking for all the swelling to go down, and the muscles to heal entirely (I still have some trouble after 2 years!) I gave away two of the pair I purchased just before, and several others believing I would never be able to wear them again. Alas, many good friends have gone to other homes and other feet. I hope they are well loved!
I have scars where the surgeon cut my foot open to install two screws to hold the bones together. And while everything has healed nicely, I still have what I call a "Frankenhump" on the top inside of my right foot, making in impossibly uncomfortable to wear shoes that cover the top of my foot. In and of itself that's not entirely bad except that leaves wonderful styles that can never grace my foot. I complain about how distorting this is to my foot expecting some kind of empathetic response from my room mate, but I get nothing but playful mockery from her. You see, she has her own issues with her feet which she has had since birth, and is unable to wear those gorgeous high heels that can make your legs look 18' long! She is not the best person for me to wail to!
Lest you believe me to be like the infamous Imelda Marcos when it comes to shoes, I do have my limits. I do have just about every style of black shoe that I could ever possibly need and so have limited myself to purchasing shoes with color and interest. Occasionally there is a black shoe that is so spectacular I must have it, but I wait until it goes on sale! And every time I walk through the shoe store and come out empty handed I do think to myself "I cried and cried because I couldn't find a new pair of shoes until I saw someone who had none!"
I know it's ridiculous to believe that a pair of shoes hold any kind of magic to make me thinner, taller (well some can until they come off, and my feet pretty much hurt by the end of the day!), famous, or get the attention of Daniel Craig, Robert Downey Jr, Jeff Donovan, Jimmy Stewart, Cary Grant or Gregory Peck from across a crowded room, (the last three I hope are watching me from above and are waiting to see who my choice is in the next life!) a nice sleek pair of shoes does instill a certain confidence in my demeanor, the way I walk, and they way I hold my shoulders back with my head held high. You really can't help that when wearing a pair of 3" stilettos!
So, I going to my closet right now and get rid of every other pair of shoes, every 4th pair of shoes. Okay, I'm getting rid of shoes that have not been worn once in the last 4 months and can not be worn in the wet, snowy winter!
Wish me luck!
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Day Six - A Day of Thanks
The day after Thanksgiving. What a peaceful quiet day - unless you are out shopping. Which I'm not, which I wouldn't do because the idea of fighting crowds and noise, greed and mean spiritedness is not my idea of having fun. Not that everybody who is out there on "Black Friday" is noisy, greedy and mean spirited, but there are enough. And this is the season to promote peace and goodwill among men and women isn't it?
Anyway - I have so much to be thankful for that spending time fighting crowds seems unnecessary at best. I probably would feel different if I had children who needed to be spoiled for Christmas and I had to do it with my limited spending capacity! But then, again - I am who I am with or without kids. Kids just add a different dimension to me, they don't change brain chemistry. Although with some of the parents I've encountered, I'm totally sure on this point!
I'm grateful for my family. They have made me feel secure and loved even though technically I'm an orphan with no one to look after me anymore. But it was long past time for that to happen anyway.
I'm grateful for friends. There was a time in my life when my narrow definition of friends meant I only had 3 maybe 5 friends in the whole world. The rest were simply people I had met while coming to the same cross in the road. I didn't consider them to be "friends" unless we had daily contact and hung out at least once a week. Now, with the passing of my parents, I learned to expand my definition of friends and have found out that my friends are much higher in number and in some few cases, higher in quality as well.
I'm grateful for a home. I purchased the home I grew up in after my dad died. I was scared to death to leave, I was scared to death to stay, but stay I did. It seemed so much easier at the time because I already felt welcome and liked. I was afraid (and still am) of starting over in a new neighborhood. Heck it took me 40+ years to get the people here to like me. I'm sure I don't have that kind of time anymore! My home is not just a house that keeps away the dark and cold, it's a place where I can find comfort and solace and joy. I have a fantastic roommate (see friends above) who is patient enough to deal with my mood swings and honest enough to let me know when I get out of control.
I'm grateful to live in Utah. I love it here. I love the changing weather, I love the mountains in the north and the desert in the south. I love watching the John Ford westerns and seeing "my state" silhouetted in the back drop. I think it's so cool!
I'm grateful to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I was once asked how my value system was formed and if I ever questioned the basis of it. I wasn't sure what they meant by the first part, but the second part was a resounding "YES", I questioned it all the time. As I gained in wisdom through some hard experiences in life, I realized what was meant by the first part of the question. My value system was formed through and by the teachings in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and no, I don't question that any more. I found myself always coming back to that no matter where I was at, or what I was doing. When I really thought about where my life was going, and what I needed to do to get there, I always turned back to how I was raised and why my parents taught me. It has kept me alive and there is no reason to doubt that now.
I'm grateful for memory. Not just the warm fluffy parts of my memory that make me weep with joy, but all the others as well. I learned to appreciate them not only for what they taught me, but because they make the other memories more sweet and poignant.
I'm grateful for entertainment. In all its forms, books, movies, music, TV, art, hiking, skiing, whatever you can think of. If it's physical, chances are, I don't find it all that entertaining, but I have a lot of friends who do and I love them so I like that kind of entertainment. The arts side of entertainment has allowed me to escape my world into one of romance, terror, fear, intrigue, all of it. I've experiences it a thousand times over, and it has allowed me to heal some of my own hurts, fantasize about some gorgeous men, put myself in dangerous situations (and come out alive) and just be gone from myself for a period of time. It has also kept me from going and doing at times and I have struggled with living constantly in a world of romance and fantasy, but I'm working on it!
There are so many more things that I could list here, and I will on a different day, but for now - I'm going to leave it at that and go escape for an hour or two into a world that has nothing to do with mine!
Anyway - I have so much to be thankful for that spending time fighting crowds seems unnecessary at best. I probably would feel different if I had children who needed to be spoiled for Christmas and I had to do it with my limited spending capacity! But then, again - I am who I am with or without kids. Kids just add a different dimension to me, they don't change brain chemistry. Although with some of the parents I've encountered, I'm totally sure on this point!
I'm grateful for my family. They have made me feel secure and loved even though technically I'm an orphan with no one to look after me anymore. But it was long past time for that to happen anyway.
I'm grateful for friends. There was a time in my life when my narrow definition of friends meant I only had 3 maybe 5 friends in the whole world. The rest were simply people I had met while coming to the same cross in the road. I didn't consider them to be "friends" unless we had daily contact and hung out at least once a week. Now, with the passing of my parents, I learned to expand my definition of friends and have found out that my friends are much higher in number and in some few cases, higher in quality as well.
I'm grateful for a home. I purchased the home I grew up in after my dad died. I was scared to death to leave, I was scared to death to stay, but stay I did. It seemed so much easier at the time because I already felt welcome and liked. I was afraid (and still am) of starting over in a new neighborhood. Heck it took me 40+ years to get the people here to like me. I'm sure I don't have that kind of time anymore! My home is not just a house that keeps away the dark and cold, it's a place where I can find comfort and solace and joy. I have a fantastic roommate (see friends above) who is patient enough to deal with my mood swings and honest enough to let me know when I get out of control.
I'm grateful to live in Utah. I love it here. I love the changing weather, I love the mountains in the north and the desert in the south. I love watching the John Ford westerns and seeing "my state" silhouetted in the back drop. I think it's so cool!
I'm grateful to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I was once asked how my value system was formed and if I ever questioned the basis of it. I wasn't sure what they meant by the first part, but the second part was a resounding "YES", I questioned it all the time. As I gained in wisdom through some hard experiences in life, I realized what was meant by the first part of the question. My value system was formed through and by the teachings in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and no, I don't question that any more. I found myself always coming back to that no matter where I was at, or what I was doing. When I really thought about where my life was going, and what I needed to do to get there, I always turned back to how I was raised and why my parents taught me. It has kept me alive and there is no reason to doubt that now.
I'm grateful for memory. Not just the warm fluffy parts of my memory that make me weep with joy, but all the others as well. I learned to appreciate them not only for what they taught me, but because they make the other memories more sweet and poignant.
I'm grateful for entertainment. In all its forms, books, movies, music, TV, art, hiking, skiing, whatever you can think of. If it's physical, chances are, I don't find it all that entertaining, but I have a lot of friends who do and I love them so I like that kind of entertainment. The arts side of entertainment has allowed me to escape my world into one of romance, terror, fear, intrigue, all of it. I've experiences it a thousand times over, and it has allowed me to heal some of my own hurts, fantasize about some gorgeous men, put myself in dangerous situations (and come out alive) and just be gone from myself for a period of time. It has also kept me from going and doing at times and I have struggled with living constantly in a world of romance and fantasy, but I'm working on it!
There are so many more things that I could list here, and I will on a different day, but for now - I'm going to leave it at that and go escape for an hour or two into a world that has nothing to do with mine!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Day Five - The Movies
I went and saw "New Moon" tonight because I didn't want to have everybody around me talking about it and ruining it for me. I don't like knowing people's opinion about movies BEFORE I have a chance to experience them for myself. I believe that somehow the experience is tainted for me. And for movies like "New Moon" I generally don't like to be in a crowded theatre, because I tend to get caught up in the excitement / dread around me. So, I went today with a lot of other people, mostly young "Tweens" and "Teens". There were more men and boys than I would have thought for a chick flick like this one. And - almost nothing lives up to the hype it gets.
I have read the "Twilight" series and although it is not entirely well written, I thoroughly enjoyed myself through most of the experience. Bella is annoying, but what teen aged girl isn't? The dialogue was cheesy and pretty cornball, but what do teenagers know about expressing feelings? If they don't have the vocabulary and the understanding of the words, they can't and so they resort to what they've seen and heard at the movies or on TV. Or, Stephanie Meyer simply can't write dialogue. For every reason friends gave me for disliking the books, I could explain them in terms of the life, heart and mind of a teenage girl. To me, it seemed pretty right on.
So, given all this, I was hoping and looking forward to having as happy an experience as my friends who went to see the movie at midnight did. Alas....
The movie "New Moon" was good. It had better production values than "Twilight", but that's to be expected. "New Moon" had a bigger budget, a more experienced director, and the expectation that there was money, lots of money to be made. I would have thought all these things would have made for a better experience. But the production company kept the same adaptor as with "Twilight" who did a credible job, but not great. Granted, I know of only one adaptation that hasn't left me disappointed: "To Kill A Mockingbird". There could be more, but I haven't read all the books that have been made into movies nor have I seen all the movies, that came from a book.
So, here's what I didn't like, starting with the beginning and working my way through:
1 - It took long to get into the story. When I'm reading, it's one thing to wait until page 75 to start having things happen, but in a movie it needs to happen sooner than it did in "New Moon"
2 - I didn't believe the birthday party scene with the blood. I believed that Bella was in more danger from Edward than Jasper. (So did Edward)
3 - There wasn't enough "Angst" and drama in the scene where Edward leaves Bella. I was thinking "This is all you're going to give me?"
4 - Bella's "coming out of the fog" was too easy and I certainly didn't believe that she noticed any kind of change in Jacob's physique. Just because she says "anabolic steroids" doesn't mean she was taken aback by his abrupt physical growth
5 - When Jacob tries to save Bella from the one guy that wanted to tear her apart, that was pretty weak
6 - Dreams are a pretty weak gimmick to use to get a character to remember something, whether it's in a book or movie. It seems like taking the easy way out in terms of imagination
7 - Edward taking his shirt off, was melodramatic at best, cheesy at worst
8 - The Volturi weren't nearly threatening enough. I wasn't afraid of them, and I knew what they could do! I did read the book.
9 - What a cheese ball ending! Even the book didn't end that abruptly
10 - No chemistry what so ever between Bella and well, anybody!
So, there are some of the things I found wrong with the movie "New Moon". There are more, but then I would just talk myself out of having liked and enjoyed it, so I'll stop here. I did enjoy it. I found myself holding my breath at the moments I was supposed to, and when Bella jumped off the cliff, it was intense and not just because I hate heights! Chris Weitz did a superb job with that whole moment! There were other moments as well - Laurent in the field - that was well done.
So, to all those out there who LOVED "New Moon", I'm glad you did, there is enough there to say it's okay. For all of you who hated it, for whatever reason, you're right, too! It's just not that great of a movie!
I have read the "Twilight" series and although it is not entirely well written, I thoroughly enjoyed myself through most of the experience. Bella is annoying, but what teen aged girl isn't? The dialogue was cheesy and pretty cornball, but what do teenagers know about expressing feelings? If they don't have the vocabulary and the understanding of the words, they can't and so they resort to what they've seen and heard at the movies or on TV. Or, Stephanie Meyer simply can't write dialogue. For every reason friends gave me for disliking the books, I could explain them in terms of the life, heart and mind of a teenage girl. To me, it seemed pretty right on.
So, given all this, I was hoping and looking forward to having as happy an experience as my friends who went to see the movie at midnight did. Alas....
The movie "New Moon" was good. It had better production values than "Twilight", but that's to be expected. "New Moon" had a bigger budget, a more experienced director, and the expectation that there was money, lots of money to be made. I would have thought all these things would have made for a better experience. But the production company kept the same adaptor as with "Twilight" who did a credible job, but not great. Granted, I know of only one adaptation that hasn't left me disappointed: "To Kill A Mockingbird". There could be more, but I haven't read all the books that have been made into movies nor have I seen all the movies, that came from a book.
So, here's what I didn't like, starting with the beginning and working my way through:
1 - It took long to get into the story. When I'm reading, it's one thing to wait until page 75 to start having things happen, but in a movie it needs to happen sooner than it did in "New Moon"
2 - I didn't believe the birthday party scene with the blood. I believed that Bella was in more danger from Edward than Jasper. (So did Edward)
3 - There wasn't enough "Angst" and drama in the scene where Edward leaves Bella. I was thinking "This is all you're going to give me?"
4 - Bella's "coming out of the fog" was too easy and I certainly didn't believe that she noticed any kind of change in Jacob's physique. Just because she says "anabolic steroids" doesn't mean she was taken aback by his abrupt physical growth
5 - When Jacob tries to save Bella from the one guy that wanted to tear her apart, that was pretty weak
6 - Dreams are a pretty weak gimmick to use to get a character to remember something, whether it's in a book or movie. It seems like taking the easy way out in terms of imagination
7 - Edward taking his shirt off, was melodramatic at best, cheesy at worst
8 - The Volturi weren't nearly threatening enough. I wasn't afraid of them, and I knew what they could do! I did read the book.
9 - What a cheese ball ending! Even the book didn't end that abruptly
10 - No chemistry what so ever between Bella and well, anybody!
So, there are some of the things I found wrong with the movie "New Moon". There are more, but then I would just talk myself out of having liked and enjoyed it, so I'll stop here. I did enjoy it. I found myself holding my breath at the moments I was supposed to, and when Bella jumped off the cliff, it was intense and not just because I hate heights! Chris Weitz did a superb job with that whole moment! There were other moments as well - Laurent in the field - that was well done.
So, to all those out there who LOVED "New Moon", I'm glad you did, there is enough there to say it's okay. For all of you who hated it, for whatever reason, you're right, too! It's just not that great of a movie!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Day Four - Where The Wild Things Are
I finally figured out why I hated the movie "Where The Wild Things Are." I was expecting an idyllic and charming look back into a childhood memory filled with intensely saturated colors in varying shades of blue and green. I wanted to get back to my childhood and feel warm and safe inside a world teeming with imagination and fantasy. I didn't want to see a child with oppositional defiance disorder, I didn't want to see a fantasy world of creatures who were mean, petty, and boring!
The colors in the film were dry and brittle with no warmth. And although the puppets were exacting in their detail (aren't they always with Jim Henson?), the characters became tedious and nerve wracking. The only monster that left me with any sense of intrigue and interest was the bull headed guy who never said a word! Him, I grew to love. The others I didn't even want to try to figure out!
I get the message of the movie, that expecting anyone to make life better for you, when you are not willing to make any changes and sacrifices yourself, leaves you worse off than when you started!
This is not a lesson that I have learned easily in my life. There are still days when I would love someone to come and whisk me off my feet and sweep me up onto a white horse and fix all my problems!
Not that my problems are heavy or onerous (I love that word and love to create moments to use it - it rolls off the tongue with such ease!), but they are annoying and I get tired of living with them and trying to manage them. I hate it even more that most of the problems I have, are problems of my own making. I created them either through stupidity and willing ignorance or inaction when action was required.
Do you suppose if I had been swept up long ago I would still be Bi-Polar Type II? Would I have lost my job? Would I have wrecked my car? Would my parents have died? Would I have a life of fame and wealth right now? Would I be any happier than I am at this moment? Would I have arrived at this moment earlier in life rather than later? There are no answers to any of these "Would I have?" and how foolish to spend the time to figure them out when there are so many more pleasant activites I can spend my time on. No one can answer "What if?" with any degree of certainty.
I'm not even certain I want my "What ifs?" answered. I like where I'm at and don't want to go back and change anything. My life is uncomfortable at times, even painful and there are still times I just want to bury my head under the covers and wait until...well, until something else, but something else is usually worse so I can't even take a romantic pleasure in my own feeling of world-weariness.
Although I love my world of "Wild Things", I don't want to live there. I don't mind the occasional visit to my own but someone else's would be nicer, if only because it's different than mine and if I listen carefully I might learn something from them, and might be able to help them.
I still don't like the movie. I go to movies for a certain amount of escapism and I didn't get ANY from that movie. I was thoroughly left in my life and although I do love it, I do appreciate it more when I can escape it even for a moment. So, there is something good that came from watching "Where The Wild Things Are", I appreciate my life a little bit more than I did before I watched this movie.
So go to the movie, but don't expect your childhood dreams of fantasy lands to be larger than life, but do expect to see something un-anticipated, a little frightening and even maddening.
The colors in the film were dry and brittle with no warmth. And although the puppets were exacting in their detail (aren't they always with Jim Henson?), the characters became tedious and nerve wracking. The only monster that left me with any sense of intrigue and interest was the bull headed guy who never said a word! Him, I grew to love. The others I didn't even want to try to figure out!
I get the message of the movie, that expecting anyone to make life better for you, when you are not willing to make any changes and sacrifices yourself, leaves you worse off than when you started!
This is not a lesson that I have learned easily in my life. There are still days when I would love someone to come and whisk me off my feet and sweep me up onto a white horse and fix all my problems!
Not that my problems are heavy or onerous (I love that word and love to create moments to use it - it rolls off the tongue with such ease!), but they are annoying and I get tired of living with them and trying to manage them. I hate it even more that most of the problems I have, are problems of my own making. I created them either through stupidity and willing ignorance or inaction when action was required.
Do you suppose if I had been swept up long ago I would still be Bi-Polar Type II? Would I have lost my job? Would I have wrecked my car? Would my parents have died? Would I have a life of fame and wealth right now? Would I be any happier than I am at this moment? Would I have arrived at this moment earlier in life rather than later? There are no answers to any of these "Would I have?" and how foolish to spend the time to figure them out when there are so many more pleasant activites I can spend my time on. No one can answer "What if?" with any degree of certainty.
I'm not even certain I want my "What ifs?" answered. I like where I'm at and don't want to go back and change anything. My life is uncomfortable at times, even painful and there are still times I just want to bury my head under the covers and wait until...well, until something else, but something else is usually worse so I can't even take a romantic pleasure in my own feeling of world-weariness.
Although I love my world of "Wild Things", I don't want to live there. I don't mind the occasional visit to my own but someone else's would be nicer, if only because it's different than mine and if I listen carefully I might learn something from them, and might be able to help them.
I still don't like the movie. I go to movies for a certain amount of escapism and I didn't get ANY from that movie. I was thoroughly left in my life and although I do love it, I do appreciate it more when I can escape it even for a moment. So, there is something good that came from watching "Where The Wild Things Are", I appreciate my life a little bit more than I did before I watched this movie.
So go to the movie, but don't expect your childhood dreams of fantasy lands to be larger than life, but do expect to see something un-anticipated, a little frightening and even maddening.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Day Three - I'm So Bored!
I so don't want to be awake right now, but then if I sleep, I won't be able to fall asleep tonight, and then I won't be able to wake up tomorrow morning! Gees! Sometimes it's just not worth getting out of bed! Which isn't actually true, because as Anne Shirley's teacher says, "Tomorrow is fresh, with no mistakes in it," which remains true until the moment you wake up!
Don't misunderstand me - I love my life. I love the way it is now, and although there are things in my past I would rather not remember, I have begun to accept my past for what it is; the past and what brought me to where I am now. Sure without the past, I may have been able to get here quicker, but with less wisdom, fewer wrinkles, less grey hairs, and fewer incredible memories. None of which I would like to be without. Except for the wrinkles and grey hairs, maybe. I earned the those wrinkles, and each grey hair came to me honestly through hard work and needless worry. So I'll take the wrinkles and grey hair thank you very much!
Don't misunderstand me - I love my life. I love the way it is now, and although there are things in my past I would rather not remember, I have begun to accept my past for what it is; the past and what brought me to where I am now. Sure without the past, I may have been able to get here quicker, but with less wisdom, fewer wrinkles, less grey hairs, and fewer incredible memories. None of which I would like to be without. Except for the wrinkles and grey hairs, maybe. I earned the those wrinkles, and each grey hair came to me honestly through hard work and needless worry. So I'll take the wrinkles and grey hair thank you very much!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Day Two - A Book
You know when you're really tired, laying in bed reading, there are only 8 pages left to finish the book, then just 5, then 3, then you start having the 3 second blinks but you're so close! You can do it! You can stay awake! Just 2 more pages! But then, the dreaded 15 second blink and you look at the page and know you can't make it to the end. You have to put it away until tomorrow.
So, you reluctantly mark the spot you're at, shut out the light and roll over and snuggle down into the cozy warmth of your bed believing you'll finish up the last few paragraphs as soon as you wake up.
When the alarm goes off, you can't even remember that you practically fell asleep reading, you just know you only need 10 more minutes and you'll be fine, well, maybe 20, okay so 30. Then you sit up in bed in a dead panic because now you only have 30 minutes to get up and get yourself to where you need to be, and of course it will take you at least 50!
That's what happened to me last night while I was reading "The Glass Castle" by Jeannette Walls. I didn't not want to stop even though I knew everything worked out well for everybody, I knew the kids had gone on and done well for themselves and risen above the poverty they were raised in. I just wanted to be able to finish before I fell asleep.
I love stories about people who can rise above how they were raised, rise above tribulation, and go on to live full and happy lives. Not a life of huge amounts of wealth, but comfortable, sane (whatever that means to anyone) and contributing back to society. I love stories that make me see things I don't like to know about, because that is how I maintain and develop empathy and open my eyes to suffering and want to do something about it. I love stories where people see injustice being done, and work to stop it, even at the cost of their own lives. I like this story.
There were several things that made me like this book, I loved Ms. Walls style of writing: clearly with just the right amount of words, creatively so I could picture the different places the Walls family lived, compasionately, so I cared about Mr. & Mrs. Walls as much as I did the kids; Lori, Jeannette, Brian and Maureen. There were no chapter headings, which sometimes bothers me, but why do you need a chapter number, when all you have to do as start the next section lower on the page with a larger, bolder first letter and we all know that something different is about to go on.
I loved the sparse characterizations of the people around the Walls family. I knew enough background to either relate to or despise the character, but not so much as to take me away from the main point of the story.
I loved the feeling of catharsis I had when I finished the book, that not only Ms. Walls, but also I had had a healing moment in my own life because I read the book and participated in the lives of these 6 people.
I loved the book because my gratitude for my own life was enlarged, and strengthened. I am so grateful to have been raised by parents who were willing to sacrifice their own happiness so I could achieve mine. I have always felt appreciation, well as a child I didn't ALWAYS, for living where and how I live. To have grown up in Salt Lake and been raised by LeGrand J and Elda R Baer. They weren't perfect parents, but they did the best they knew how to do. They worked their tails of to create a life for me that was better than the one they had had.
"The Glass Castle" made me determined to be more aware of the prejudices I have and to temper them with compassion and understanding, and one day being able to be rid of them altogether.
Read this book, you'll love it, you'll hate it, you'll be warmed by it, and possibly even turned off by it, but most importantly, you won't feel "Unh" about it.
So, you reluctantly mark the spot you're at, shut out the light and roll over and snuggle down into the cozy warmth of your bed believing you'll finish up the last few paragraphs as soon as you wake up.
When the alarm goes off, you can't even remember that you practically fell asleep reading, you just know you only need 10 more minutes and you'll be fine, well, maybe 20, okay so 30. Then you sit up in bed in a dead panic because now you only have 30 minutes to get up and get yourself to where you need to be, and of course it will take you at least 50!
That's what happened to me last night while I was reading "The Glass Castle" by Jeannette Walls. I didn't not want to stop even though I knew everything worked out well for everybody, I knew the kids had gone on and done well for themselves and risen above the poverty they were raised in. I just wanted to be able to finish before I fell asleep.
I love stories about people who can rise above how they were raised, rise above tribulation, and go on to live full and happy lives. Not a life of huge amounts of wealth, but comfortable, sane (whatever that means to anyone) and contributing back to society. I love stories that make me see things I don't like to know about, because that is how I maintain and develop empathy and open my eyes to suffering and want to do something about it. I love stories where people see injustice being done, and work to stop it, even at the cost of their own lives. I like this story.
There were several things that made me like this book, I loved Ms. Walls style of writing: clearly with just the right amount of words, creatively so I could picture the different places the Walls family lived, compasionately, so I cared about Mr. & Mrs. Walls as much as I did the kids; Lori, Jeannette, Brian and Maureen. There were no chapter headings, which sometimes bothers me, but why do you need a chapter number, when all you have to do as start the next section lower on the page with a larger, bolder first letter and we all know that something different is about to go on.
I loved the sparse characterizations of the people around the Walls family. I knew enough background to either relate to or despise the character, but not so much as to take me away from the main point of the story.
I loved the feeling of catharsis I had when I finished the book, that not only Ms. Walls, but also I had had a healing moment in my own life because I read the book and participated in the lives of these 6 people.
I loved the book because my gratitude for my own life was enlarged, and strengthened. I am so grateful to have been raised by parents who were willing to sacrifice their own happiness so I could achieve mine. I have always felt appreciation, well as a child I didn't ALWAYS, for living where and how I live. To have grown up in Salt Lake and been raised by LeGrand J and Elda R Baer. They weren't perfect parents, but they did the best they knew how to do. They worked their tails of to create a life for me that was better than the one they had had.
"The Glass Castle" made me determined to be more aware of the prejudices I have and to temper them with compassion and understanding, and one day being able to be rid of them altogether.
Read this book, you'll love it, you'll hate it, you'll be warmed by it, and possibly even turned off by it, but most importantly, you won't feel "Unh" about it.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Day One
This is the first day of "Blogging". I'm not sure what I'm going to do with this, or even if anyone will ever even read it, but I have thoughts and I would like to share them with someone other than myself. This assumes of course, that my thoughts are worth repeating, which I assure you, they are. If only because they are mine. I hope people come to this blog spot if for no other reason than they are bored with what they are doing and want a good laugh. Perhaps someone will actually benefit from my thoughts. Some of you may even get a good laugh at my expense. That's okay, I can take it.
This blog isn't going to be about anything important, other than my life. It's simply going to be. I feel like I have a lot to say, and now, I have some where to say it, even if no one is listening. This may be a picture free blog because I do not allow pictures of myself to be taken, and if they are - I don't like them to be distributed any further than the garbage can. But there are many of my family and friends whom I love very much and perhaps you will see pictures of them, but only if I talk about them.
So, here's a bit of background so you can get to know something about the person "behind the curtain" so to speak.
I was born in Salt Lake City, UT, raised in Salt Lake City, UT, and spent very little time away from my family home. In fact I bought the home I was raised in after my father died. As a child, I traveled with my mom, dad and brother to Western Samoa where my father worked as a construction supervisor. I went to school there and loved it. I have romanticized my memories to the point of believing that if I ever went back there, some magic wand would be waved and my adult life would be as uncomplicated as it was when I lived there.
As a young and very immature adult, I spent 18 months serving a mission in Germany for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. (Was this a suprise to anyone after I led with the SLC, UT thing?) I learned German, lived among the Germans, and served with some of the finest women I've come to know in my life. I also served with some I didn't think were so fine, but that could've been me.
When I returned, I attended the University of Utah and graduated with a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Film Studies. I always thought I would end up in the theatre, but never really took the chances I needed to to get there. I loved film school, and was okay at what I did, but again, it takes a lot of courage, endurance and chutzpah, to put yourself out there and succeed, and I didn't really try very hard at persuing this because I thought I would be married. Truth be told, I thought I would have been married before my mission to Germany, but that didn't happen, so I thought I would be married before finishing college, again - not.
Since graduation from the U, I have worked at various companies, doing things completely unrelated to my field of study, and kept thinking that I didn't need to try very hard to be successful at anything because at any moment, I would meet, "Mr. Right", be married and have children, and leave myself behind and worry only about the husband and kids.
Didn't happen.
So, here I am, nearing the half century mark, unmarried, no children, no prospects on the horizon (not completely dissatisfied with this), no job, and now I'm trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
So, in a very small nutshell - that's me, but it's the me I want you to know for now. As this blog goes on, I'm sure you will get to see that the nutshell is pretty big.
I'll talk later and keep you posted on what's going on, and will post more thoughts as they come up.
Take care!
This blog isn't going to be about anything important, other than my life. It's simply going to be. I feel like I have a lot to say, and now, I have some where to say it, even if no one is listening. This may be a picture free blog because I do not allow pictures of myself to be taken, and if they are - I don't like them to be distributed any further than the garbage can. But there are many of my family and friends whom I love very much and perhaps you will see pictures of them, but only if I talk about them.
So, here's a bit of background so you can get to know something about the person "behind the curtain" so to speak.
I was born in Salt Lake City, UT, raised in Salt Lake City, UT, and spent very little time away from my family home. In fact I bought the home I was raised in after my father died. As a child, I traveled with my mom, dad and brother to Western Samoa where my father worked as a construction supervisor. I went to school there and loved it. I have romanticized my memories to the point of believing that if I ever went back there, some magic wand would be waved and my adult life would be as uncomplicated as it was when I lived there.
As a young and very immature adult, I spent 18 months serving a mission in Germany for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. (Was this a suprise to anyone after I led with the SLC, UT thing?) I learned German, lived among the Germans, and served with some of the finest women I've come to know in my life. I also served with some I didn't think were so fine, but that could've been me.
When I returned, I attended the University of Utah and graduated with a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Film Studies. I always thought I would end up in the theatre, but never really took the chances I needed to to get there. I loved film school, and was okay at what I did, but again, it takes a lot of courage, endurance and chutzpah, to put yourself out there and succeed, and I didn't really try very hard at persuing this because I thought I would be married. Truth be told, I thought I would have been married before my mission to Germany, but that didn't happen, so I thought I would be married before finishing college, again - not.
Since graduation from the U, I have worked at various companies, doing things completely unrelated to my field of study, and kept thinking that I didn't need to try very hard to be successful at anything because at any moment, I would meet, "Mr. Right", be married and have children, and leave myself behind and worry only about the husband and kids.
Didn't happen.
So, here I am, nearing the half century mark, unmarried, no children, no prospects on the horizon (not completely dissatisfied with this), no job, and now I'm trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
So, in a very small nutshell - that's me, but it's the me I want you to know for now. As this blog goes on, I'm sure you will get to see that the nutshell is pretty big.
I'll talk later and keep you posted on what's going on, and will post more thoughts as they come up.
Take care!
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